#1 Bowing
The other day I was watching TV when an advertisement for a well-known credit card company came on. I was pleased to notice immediately that it was about a young Japanese and American couple who had announced their engagement to each set of parents. The commercial continued telling us how much the airfare would be from Tokyo and from Chicago, etc. The commercial was endearing and it struck a familiar cord with me. When the parents finally met one another, the American father put his hands in a prayer position and then bowed to the Japanese parents. I can appreciate the American Father’s willingness to show his future daughter-in-law’s parents respect for their culture by bowing to them. And, undoubtedly any Japanese person would appreciate the gesture as well. But here’s a hint: Japanese people do not bow that way. In fact, Japanese people only bow in this position if they are actually saying a prayer at a holy shrine or Buddhist temple. If not, men tend to have their hands down at their sides, and women tend to bring their hands together in a cupped position while keeping their arms straight and close to the front of the body. However, I have seen women keep their hands to the sides as well.
I am not recommending that people stop trying to show respect to Japanese people by trying to partake in some of their customs for fear of making a mistake. This would be folly, as the effort is very well received by Japanese people. However, I have often been praised for my correct bowing. So, while you certainly would never damage a relationship by accidentally making etiquette or cultural faux paux, you will certainly impress and leave a long lasting positive image with them.
So, when bowing to a Japanese person, keep your hands to your sides. Also, if you have a very important business meeting or situation where you really need to make an impression with Japanese people, it would be wise to be consulted on all the nuances and intricacies of the Japanese bow. There is quite a bit of information embedded in the Japanese bow.